MAY YOUR ONLY PAIN BE  

champagne

Within this remarkable series of whimsical furniture pieces, Simmons manifests tangible creations that serve as a catalyst for boundless imagination, striking a delicate balance between reality and fantasy. Bursting with youthful exuberance, the custom acrylic console table captures celebration and sophistication with its crystal-clear surface and 96 customized champagne bottles with labels reading “You Can’t Sip With Us.” 

Crafted from 100% cork and glimmering with hand-appliqued gold foil, the oversized accompanying cork serves as a side seat or resting table, to literally get things “popping.” Embossed atop its facade, it reads “May Your Only Pain Be Champagne” - emulating Simmons’ signature wit - now fully transcribed into the realm of 3D functional objects. It’s like a reminder that life is meant to be enjoyed, even when the bubbles burst.

Artist drawing by Kristin Simmons of a life-size stool in the shape of a cork.
Design sketch by Kristin Simmons of a modern console table. The table features a clear top slab revealing a layer of colorful champagne bottles neatly arranged within.
An acrylic console table filled with bottles of champagne laying neck to neck by artist Kristin Simmons.

Cork Stools

DIMENSIONS: 19.68(h) x 11.38(w)
MEDIUM: Custom Cork Stool with Gold Foil
YEAR: 2021

Introducing the ultimate blend of luxury and functionality - the champagne cork stool. Crafted from premium materials, this striking piece doubles as a glamorous seat and a conversation starter, making it a must-have for those who appreciate the finer things in life.

Champagne Table

DIMENSIONS: 30(h) x 80(w) x 28(d)
MEDIUM: Acrylic Table with 96 Custom Champagne Bottles
YEAR: 2021

Introducing our epitome of elegance and luxury: the acrylic table, adorned with a mesmerizing display of shimmering champagne bottles. Capturing celebration and sophistication, this crystal-clear surface invites you to indulge in effervescent pleasures and savor life's treasured moments.

  • Close-up of a row of champagne bottles with labels reading 'YOU CAN'T SIP WITH US' by artist Kristin Simmons, showing dark green glass and golden tops.
  • Angled view of champagne bottles arranged inside an acrylic console table at Bergdorf Goodman.
  • Champagne bottles lying on their sides and facing each other inside an acrylic console table.
  • 1. A stool that looks like a life-size champagne cork with the text “May your only pain be champagne” written on the top. 2. A life-size champagne cork stool with the text “May your only pain be champagne” written on the top.
  • A sleek acrylic console table houses a meticulous arrangement of champagne bottles, each corked and with a custom label reading 'You Can't Sip with Us.' The tableau, a creation by artist Kristin Simmons.
  • Champagne bottles lying on their sides and facing each other inside an acrylic console table.